What to bring and ask on a funeral home visit

Go to the funeral home appointment with a short stack of documents, a second person, and a list of questions, and leave with two pieces of paper: the General Price List and a written statement of exactly what you chose and what it costs. Those two documents are your legal right under the Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule, and they protect you in a meeting that tends to happen in the worst week of a family's year. This checklist walks through the visit in the order it usually unfolds, with the reason behind each item.

It is written for the person who is arranging the funeral, whether that is a spouse, an adult child, or someone planning ahead for themselves. It does not tell you what kind of funeral to have. It helps you pay a fair price for the one you choose.

Before the visit: three quick calls

You do not have to start at the funeral home's front desk. The FTC says funeral providers must give price information over the phone if you ask, without making you give your name or number first. That makes a round of calls the easiest way to compare.

1. Call two or three homes and ask for the price of the same thing at each: for example, direct cremation, or a funeral with a viewing and burial.
2. Ask whether the quote includes the basic services fee, the transfer of the body, and any required container. Some quotes leave these out and the total grows once you arrive.
3. Ask whether they can email or mail the General Price List (often called the GPL) before you visit. Reading it at home, away from the arrangement room, is easier than reading it at the table.

If someone says the prices "depend" and cannot give any numbers, that is a reason to keep calling. Our what a funeral costs and how families pay for it guide explains what national price surveys show and which items come from the funeral home and which come from outside sellers.

What to bring

Gather these before you go. If something is missing, go anyway; the funeral director can often work with what you have and tell you what to add later.

For the person who died

• Full legal name, date and place of birth, and Social Security number. These go on the death certificate.
• Parents' full names, including the mother's name before marriage, and the person's highest education and occupation. Funeral homes collect these for the state's vital records form.
• Marital status and the surviving spouse's name.
• Military discharge papers (a DD-214) if the person served. They are normally needed for veterans burial benefits and a military honors request.
• The name of the doctor or hospice, and the place of death, if the funeral home does not already have them.

For the service

• A recent photograph for an obituary or program.
• Clothing, including undergarments, if there will be a viewing.
• Names and phone numbers for clergy or a celebrant, pallbearers or readers, if you have chosen them.
• Any cemetery deed, plot number or niche paperwork already owned by the family.
• A written wish list if the person left one. If they signed a prepaid contract, bring all of it; preneed funeral insurance and funeral contracts explains why those contracts need to be read before anything new is purchased.

For payment

• The life insurance policy number and insurer name, if you know them, and the name of the beneficiary. If you do not know where a policy is, the life insurance claim checklist tool helps you find it.
• A credit card or checkbook, and a plan for who will cover the bill if the insurance has not yet paid.
• Your own photo ID. If you are not the next of kin or named agent, the home may ask for proof of your authority to arrange the funeral.

Who should go with you

Take one calm, practical person who is not as deep in grief as you are. Their job is to take notes, ask the price questions you will forget, and say "we'll think about it" when you cannot. If you are the executor named in the will, say so, since it affects who signs contracts and who is responsible for the bill.

One legal point deserves attention. In many places, the person who signs the funeral contract is the person the funeral home can ask to pay. Read the signature line and the wording above it before you sign. If you are signing on behalf of an estate, the contract should say that.

At the table: get these two documents

1. The General Price List. According to the FTC, a funeral home must hand you an itemized list to keep when you ask about funeral goods and services in person. It is not something they only show you on a screen.
2. A written statement of the goods and services you select. The FTC Funeral Rule requires this before you pay. It should show each item and its price, plus the total.

Ask for the casket and outer burial container price lists before you look at the products. The FTC says you have the right to see these lists first, so the choice is not made only by what is on display.

Line by line: questions for the itemized statement

Go through the itemized statement slowly. Here are the common lines and what to ask.

On the casket: the FTC states that a provider must accept a casket or urn you bought elsewhere and may not charge a handling fee for it. For cremation, the FTC also says no state or local law requires a casket, and an alternative container is allowed.

Outside purchases and cash advance items

Some items are bought from other businesses. A few are paid by the funeral home on your behalf and then added to your bill, usually called cash advance items.

• Cemetery plot or niche, opening and closing of the grave.
• Outer burial container or liner, if the cemetery requires one.
• Headstone, marker or monument.
• Flowers, obituary notices, clergy or musician payments, and catering.

Ask the funeral director to separate these on the statement. Ask whether the home adds any charge beyond its own cost for arranging them, and have the answer written down. The Funeral Rule does not govern cemeteries without a funeral home on site or independent monument sellers, so it is worth getting those prices directly. Some families save by handling flowers, music and the reception themselves.

Insurance, assignment and timing

A funeral is usually due within days, while an insurance claim takes weeks. Plan for that gap before you sign.

• Ask about payment terms. When is the balance due? Are payment plans offered?
• Ask whether the home accepts an assignment of life insurance proceeds, which directs the insurer to pay the bill straight to the funeral home. See assigning life insurance to a funeral home for how it works and where it can go wrong. Assign only the amount owed, not all of the proceeds.
• Do not count on a quick payout. Typical timing is covered in how long life insurance takes to pay out.
• Ask what happens if the claim is denied or reduced. Some policies, particularly new final expense policies, pay a reduced amount during an initial waiting period.
• Ask about getting copies of the death certificate. The insurer, the bank and several agencies will each want a certified copy, so order several.
• Social Security pays only a $255 lump-sum death payment to certain survivors, according to the Social Security Administration, so it will not cover much of the bill.

Decisions you can put off

You are not required to decide everything at the first meeting. Many choices can wait a few days, and waiting often lowers the price.

• The date and place of a memorial gathering, if you are choosing direct cremation or immediate burial.
• The headstone or marker. These are typically bought separately and can be ordered months later.
• The urn, if it is not required for the cremation itself.
• Printed programs, keepsake jewelry, memorial videos and similar extras.
• Scattering or interment, if cremated remains are held.

Watch for pressure phrases: "most families choose," "you wouldn't want to cut corners," "this price is only good today." A fair funeral director will give you time. If you feel rushed, say you will call back tomorrow and leave.

Questions about the home itself

The price list shows what you pay. These questions show who you are dealing with.

• Is the home licensed, and by whom? Funeral directors and homes are licensed by the state, usually through a funeral board. You can ask for the license number and check it with that board.
• Who will care for the body? Some homes have their own crematory or preparation room. Others send the work to a third party. Neither is wrong, but you should know, and a transfer may show up as a separate charge.
• How long until cremation or burial can take place? Permits, medical certificates and signatures from family members can set the pace. Ask what the home needs from you, and by when.
• Who signs the cremation authorization? Rules about who may authorize cremation vary by state and usually follow a priority order among relatives. If family members disagree, tell the director early so the paperwork is not delayed.
• What happens if I change my mind? Ask which selections can be changed after the statement is signed, and whether a deposit is refundable.
• Is there a written contract, and can I take it home? You are entitled to read it without a salesperson standing over you.

If you are planning your own funeral

The same visit works as a pre-planning appointment, with two differences. First, you can take your time, so use it: visit more than one home, take the General Price List home, and sleep on it. Second, you are deciding how to pay. A prepaid arrangement is a separate contract with its own risks, covered in preneed funeral insurance and funeral contracts, and a small insurance policy is a different tool again. burial insurance vs final expense vs preneed sets them side by side. Whatever you pick, write down your wishes, name the funeral home, and tell the person who will make the call. A plan that stays in a drawer does not help anyone.

A note on grief and decisions

People make odd choices in the arrangement room. Some overspend out of guilt, as if the casket price measured love. Others refuse every extra and feel regret later. A good rule is to decide the shape of the service first (burial or cremation, viewing or not, where and when people gather), and the spending second. If you can name three things that matter most to the person who died or to the family, spend where those things are and be plain about the rest. A funeral director who respects that is doing the job well.

A worked comparison (hypothetical)

These figures are invented to show the method, not to suggest prices. Say a family wants a cremation with a short memorial service in the funeral home's chapel and gets itemized statements from two homes.

The totals are Home A: $2,200 + $450 + $300 + $400 + $150 + $600 = $4,100. Home B: $1,500 + $400 + $250 + $350 + $180 + $900 = $3,580. Home B is $520 lower. The more useful finding is that the cheaper home charges more for the chapel, so a family that holds the memorial elsewhere would save even more at Home B. Comparing line by line, not just totals, shows where the real differences lie. The final expense and funeral cost calculator lets you enter your own figures, and a funeral budget worksheet you can fill in with local quotes provides a longer worksheet.

After you leave

1. Read the statement again at home, and check each total.
2. Confirm in writing anything said aloud that is not on the paper.
3. Call the insurer to start the claim, using the life insurance claim checklist.
4. Keep every receipt, because the executor may be repaid from the estate.
5. Tell the family who is paying what, so no one is surprised.

If you think a funeral home broke the Funeral Rule, you can report it to the FTC or to your state attorney general. Your state's funeral board is another place to ask. For more on avoiding costly errors in planning, see funeral planning mistakes that leave families paying twice.

Key takeaways

• Call two or three homes first; they must give prices by phone, and the General Price List and written selection statement are your rights at the table.
• Bring identity details for the death certificate, military papers if relevant, insurance information and a second person to take notes.
• Compare itemized lines, not package totals, and ask about the basic services fee, embalming, the facility charge and outside purchases separately.
• Plan for the gap between the funeral bill and the insurance payout, and assign only the amount owed if you use an assignment.
• You can put off the marker, the memorial date and many extras, which often reduces both pressure and cost.